Posted by: Arkay | July 8, 2008

Letting go.

Ever remember being on a swing set as a kid, and either on a dare, showing off or just something that came over you and the decision was made to jump off? This was to occur just before you reached the highest point of your forward motion. There you’d be, psyching yourself up for a few swings and the moment would come that you decided to go for it. You cranked up your effort, swinging higher and higher, determined to go through with it. And then, on the final backswing you had your first real doubts, and they gained as you started forward, but by the time you were racing past the low point you just knew this was it. And there just before the peak you released your hold and actually leapt off the seat. And for just one sweet space of time you rose ever so slightly and then hung in the air for that long cartoon moment, knowing the plunge was inevitable, but it hadn’t happened yet.

Well, that where I feel like I am right now. I may have even started the plunge downward, but, same as with the swing, it is nearly imperceptible at the start. I just have no idea if the ground hard or soft, if it is close, or if my swing set has been pushed to the edge of a cliff again and I’m going to drop a long, long ways before I crash at the bottom.

Yet for some reason today, there is also this tiny spark of hope that says maybe, just maybe, this time I’ll actually fly.

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Responses

  1. Wishing you wings to soar with, and soft ground to land on just in case.

  2. go on jump – you can land on me.

    **oooff***

    guess i shoulda seen getting the breath knocked out of me coming, huh? 😛

    Seriously, hope you landed where you wanted to.

  3. Oh my goodness can I relate to this one. I’m on the roller coaster instead of the swings.

    Hopefully the twists and turns will stop soon, eh?

  4. Sending you hugs and feathers for a peaceful journey.
    We are all waiting for you, whatever path you take.

  5. At least you’re swinging.

  6. As a child I used to stand at the top of the stairs, willing myself to fly. Luckily never tried it but my dreams were full of flying down those stairs. Your swing memory really brought it back to me.

  7. Thanks for covering both options TR .

    Lakota ((((hug)))), always there when I need you. Sorry about the wind, but given the choice, I’d land on you over any other option.

    Twists, turns, swirlies down the drain, however you look at it BTM it’s still not a fun ride.

    Just feathers books? Not even a bottle of fast drying glue to attach them with? lol. Thanks for the hug and good wishes though.

    So true Greybeard, so true.

    Welcome totalblue. Ya, the stairs were a big one for me too. And don’t even get me started about being in a high building. My fear was never of falling, it was of jumping.


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