Trying to get help

Prologue – be really fucked up for a really long time and then get hurt what seems like worse than ever before.  Check.

begin following process:

first – realize something is really, really wrong this time. Check.

second – acknowledge that to self. Check.

third – know professional help is required. Check.

fourth – seek support. Check.

fifth – receive some of that desperately needed support. Check. (and thank-you)

sixth thru 17th – try and work up to seeking (no/low cost) professional help. Check.

18th to 20th – make aborted attempts to actually go in. Check.

21st – actually walk into Mental Health office and ask for help. Check.

22nd – struggle to reveal enough to work past the initial ‘brush-off” and convince the person that i really do need significant help. incredibly difficult but… Check.

23 – wait in limbo for intake meeting tomorrow to see if worker can convince them to take on my case (knowing that even if they do, it still could be weeks before i begin getting the help i need). so far, Check.