Posted by: Arkay | April 23, 2009

Not Edible

Recipe for an Agitated Exhaustion

one part inability to fall asleep (multiple consecutive occurrences)

one part inability to remain asleep (repeat at intervals of 20mins – 2hrs)

one part inability to fall back asleep (see next ingredient for prime impetus)

seven parts incessant thinking

pile all the above on a thick crust of depression soaked in poor self-image, disruptive eating habits and a severe lack of confidence

note: make sure to get as little self-esteem in the mix as possible

sprinkle liberally with anxiety, ensuring to brush off any semblance of happiness

let sit for weeks at a time and bake for a minimum of 3-5 consecutive nights in an oven of utter aloneness

test for doneness by number of daytime falling asleep on one’s feet moments and/or quantity of profanity uttered at any minor frustration

unproven: suspected (but untested) that the above ingredients can be completely ruined by having a significant other or (at a minimum), ‘getting some’



  1. Sorry to hear that things are going so shitty for you. If it’s any consolation, the sleep thing seems to be going around. I haven’t slept good since before I went into the hospital the first time a few weeks ago. Hope it gets better for you soon…

  2. I echo Pip, but really dude, you have some talent here, I don’t think I could have ever written anything like that. I have writer envy.

  3. Hi Pip. (welcome back) The really unfortunate part is is that stuff “going so shitty” is STILL and nothing ‘new’. I hope it gets better for me too.

    Hey napkin stealer 😛 Thx for your kind compliments *blush*, it’s rare that i cause any sort of envy in anyone, let alone someone i admire (that is, if you are who i think you are *grin*)

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